When I was pregnant with my son, I followed all the doctor’s orders ”“ when he said limit tuna, I cut out all tuna, just in case. I drank no alcohol. I even avoided unpasteurized cheese. The rules were clear and I followed every one ”“ I'm a rule follower (especially when it comes to my health).

Now fast forward. I’m in the hospital, and I’ve just given birth to a beautiful son. After being bathed by the nurses and examined by the doctors, he’s finally given back to us, so now I'm waiting somewhat impatiently for the doctors to tell me what to do. I have lots of questions, but the doctors offer little in the way of answers. The thought of having to figure it out on my own is terrifying!!

Breastfeed on demand or every few hours?

Deposit him in the nursery or keep him in my room?

Wrap him tightly or loosely?

I was so overwhelmed, I asked everyone who entered the room for advice. Do you think he’s hungry?” “Do you think he needs a diaper change?” “What if he's not getting enough to eat?”

Not surprisingly, everyone had an answer, though often quite different. The first lactation nurse told me to breastfeed first, then pump, and then bottle-feed. The second lactation nurse told me to breastfeed for just a few minutes, then give him a few ounces of formula mixed with whatever I could pump. I had planned to only breastfeed ”“ but now I was faced with the dilemma of going against the advice of medical professionals.

So, for the first 12 hours, I followed nurse number one's advice. And when nurse number two came in, I followed her advice. Somewhere in a hazy fog of day number 2 (or was it 3?) my husband reminded me that this was our son and we were supposed to be in charge. In other words, we get to decide what is best for our son ”“ for the rest of our lives. (Or until he stops listening to us!) It was such a simple reminder, but it made all the difference in my perspective on parenting.

I’m happy to say I've learned (well, I'm learning) that the advice of others, albeit well-meaning ”“ is just that ”“ advice. In the end, parents need to learn to trust their intuition. In doing so, I have become a better parent. And yes, I still ask for advice ”“ but ultimately I do what feels right for me and my son. After all, he's MY responsibility!