When I teach breastfeeding I say that everyone has a job to do.
Mom- puts the baby in the Kitchen, so to speak.
Baby- Takes the breast into his mouth and sucks and swallows until satisfied
The Health care professional – makes sure everyone is safe and teaches as needed.
Dad – He does my job when they go home. His job is to learn all about breastfeeding, to assess the latch and milk transfer, to reassure and protect mom and baby from harmful influences. He is not there to fetch and carry, he is there to coach and help. He’s an active member of the breastfeeding team, much more important than the lactation consultant.

I never suggest dad feed EBM while mom pumps, because so many of us feel that dads need the opportunity to feed the baby to get close to the baby and bond. When we do that we downplay dad’s importance in the family. The baby only eats about six hours a day; the other 18 hours of the day are used for loving and bonding. Dad’s have tools that mom does not, particularly the Adam’s Apple which adds bass to his voice and makes a rhythmic vibrating chest wall that babies go GA GA over. Whenever the baby isn’t feeding he can go skin to skin on dad’s chest and dad can talk to him or sign, or read a newspaper, or talk to mom or friends, it doesn’t matter – as long as he’s soft and reassuring in his voice. Babies LOVE THAT! And a dad gets to use his tools and isn't relegated to the fetch and carry work.

When we give dad a job to do, it should be fun work, not work. Babies take a lot of work that is sure, and that work needs to be evenly divided between both parents. How much does dad how to look forward to when you tell him, “Oh Dad, there are lots of things for you to do to be involved in your baby’s life. You can change diapers, and get mom water, and prop her with pillows, isn’t that fun?” Of course not!

Make dad an actual helpful member of the team, not just an errand boy.

Tom Johnston
Midwife
Lactation Consultant
Father of 6 (with #7 coming in the fall)