Teen motherhood is on the decline in the US where teenage pregnancy rates have dropped by about 20% over the last decade. While there are many theories as to why this decline has occurred, one thing remains clear, teens on the “expecting side” of these statistics are more likely to give birth to premature or low birth weight babies.

One of the barriers teen mothers face is accessing prenatal care early and regularly. For some teen moms, trying to hide the pregnancy from family and teachers contributes to the dilemma. For others, prenatal appointments require missing school and when teens miss too many days of school they have to repeat the entire year.

These facts help explain why teen moms are more likely to drop out of school. Young motherhood can be hardship enough but to raise a child without the benefit of a high school diploma can mean having to depend on others for a place to live and one low-wage job after another-not exactly the best circumstances for mom and baby.

Where and how to intervene to make a difference in the lives of teen mothers and their little ones is open to debate. How do we equip the young moms in our communities so that they have the tools they need to parent their children? Some schools offer parenting classes to prepare pregnant teens for childbirth and motherhood-information they’re not likely to receive in biology or even a “family dynamics class.”

One public school district in the Mississippi Delta offers such a class to young moms and moms-to-be. The class covers such topics as labor and birth (taught by nurses from the local hospital) as well as signs of premature labor and the importance of prenatal care and healthy eating during pregnancy. Pregnant mothers meet once a week and update each other on their prenatal visits and how their pregnancy is progressing. The mothers who have already had their babies share their birth stories with the moms-to-be. Ultrasound images are passed around and they ask each other questions ranging from what to do about leg cramps in the middle of the night, to how to combine school and breastfeeding. Teen to teen, they become a support system for one another.

Class topics go beyond pregnancy and labor and birth and include newborn care, bonding with baby, how to calm a fussy baby, child safety, and reading to baby. Field trips include a tour of the birthing unit of the hospital, a trip to the local library to check out children’s books, and a trip to a local pottery where teen moms can make something for their baby. The young moms are encouraged to chronicle their pregnancy by making a scrapbook as a gift for their baby.

These are young mothers who, like all mothers, need information and support so they can do the best job possible. These are moms who society sends a message to loud and clear-you messed up big time and we’re not sure you’ll ever get your life back on track. Not a very uplifting message to hear at age 17.

If we could tweak society’s message to teen moms, what would it sound like? My message would go like this: Just because you’re young doesn’t mean you won’t be a good mom. You’ll learn on the job, as we all do. You’ll fall down and fall short, and find that some days, as is often said, being a good mom means simply being a good enough mom. Being a teen mom may be less than ideal. Eventually we all come to that place where we see that “ideal” is really a myth.

Teen moms often make great moms-they want to do what’s best for their baby. What they need from us, their family and their community, isn’t the same old scratched or broken message society often gives but hands-on tools for making the best of a challenging situation.

I have the pleasure of working with young moms and moms-to-be at a high school in the Mississippi Delta. If you would like to offer a parenting class in your community, please contact me. I would be happy to share my resources and tools. The smiles are worth every minute!