Whether or not you have ever known the pain of losing a child, you can understand the importance of BabySteps. The site is dedicated to the memory of Spencer Kalpin, who died after just 20 months of life, and it is named “for the baby steps that form the long and difficult road to recovery from the loss of a child.” Its purpose is two-fold:

• To provide an online space for parents, siblings, and family members to mourn the loss of a child.

• To gather donations for the BabySteps Children’s Fund, which funds research into childhood illnesses and their treatment and administers the Spencer Kalpin Memorial Fund at the Hospital for Sick Children (Toronto, Ontario).

Site visitors can choose from “Bereavement Sharing Rooms,” “Remembrance Rooms” or “Resource Rooms.” Sharing rooms are available for kids, parents, and health professionals. After selecting the appropriate room, the visitor can read others’ stories of grief or add their own posting about their feelings, thoughts, and concerns. Posts vary widely from accounts of disbelief and sadness to notations about medical treatments.

By comparison, posts in the remembrance rooms tend to be written as informal, heart-felt notes to the departed. The information in the resource rooms is limited but helpful. Visitors can choose from “Dos and Don’ts” for supporting a grieving loved one, a recommended reading list, and information about bereavement organizations. (While you’re there, do check out the gift shop, since proceeds benefit children’s health research.)

Twenty—or even fifteen—years ago, there were far fewer options available for coping with grief. There were in-person support groups, if you could find them and could overcome obstacles to attendance. There were therapists and other mental health professionals, if you had the resources to access their services. There were friends and family, if you could talk to them (and for as long as their patience extended; grief often lasts longer than others think it ought). There may have been a community helpline available for moments of desperation. If you were lucky.

But nights spent missing the loved one would often be cold and lonely. It was easy to feel isolated in the experience of grief. That’s where I think sites like BabySteps (as well as mothering.com’s mother-to-mother grief and loss message board) come in. In the hardest moments of the cycle of grief, such sites provide tangible evidence that others are on the path, too. They provide real stories that let us know that we are not alone in our heartache and that, like the people whose words we are reading, we can survive.

It was nearly two years ago that I experienced a miscarriage, and we lost what would have been our third child. Long after my body started healing and there seemed nothing more to be said about it to my husband or friends, I still found comfort in reading the words of mothers who had walked in my shoes.

There is a definite need for sites such as BabySteps—and, while my heart goes out to Spencer Kalpin’s family for their heart-breaking loss, I thank them for providing such an important space online.