Each night, after the last page of the story, the gentle bedtime kiss, and the turning off of lights, parents bid their children “good night.” They expect their children will have just that. A good night. A good night’s sleep. But many will not. Nightmares and night terrors are common for children—and they can be frightening for parents, too.

Nightmares
According to the American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP), most children have nightmares occasionally, and about one in four have them more than once a week.

Nightmares are scary dreams that tend to awaken children who have them. Usually, children will be able to talk about their nightmares and what scared them. Although nightmares can happen in children as young as six months old, they don’t typically occur until after the age of three.

Fortunately, they tend to decrease in frequency as children get older.

Although children may have trouble going back to sleep after a nightmare, parents can usually comfort them.

Night Terrors
By comparison, children who are in the throes of night terrors are usually not able to be comforted. They tend to experience screaming, sweating, breathing fast; their pupils may be dilated. In fact, they may not actually be awake at all. Rather, they may still be asleep, with their eyes open. Night terrors generally last a few minutes, although they may take as long as 20 minutes to resolve.

Because they are still asleep and may be difficult to awaken, children having night terrors may not be easy to comfort. Since they may thrash about—and may even engage in sleepwalking or other active behaviors—it is important for parents of children with night terrors to ensure that the environment is safe. The AAFP recommends that parents use gates at the top of staircases and avoid bunkbeds.

What To Do
Few things can leave parents feeling as helpless as seeing their children struggling with nighttime fears. Here are a few tips that might help:

• Make sure your child gets enough sleep. One of the most common triggers of night terrors s sleep deprivation. Consider if your child is getting enough naptime during the day, or if they need to get to bed earlier at night.

• Develop a relaxing bedtime routine. A predictable routine can help relax the child.

• Assess the sleep environment. As mentioned above, safety is especially important if your child has night terrors and walks or moves around during sleep. For a child with nightmares, simple changes to the sleeping area (e.g., nightlight, leaving the door ajar, sharing a room with a sibling) might help them feel safer during this phase.

• Avoid scary entertainment. The stuff of movies, TV shows, video games, books—all of this can make its way into a child’s dreams. Avoid those media that may feed their fears.

• Consider your options. According to the National Sleep Foundation, a child who has had a nightmare should be returned to his bed so that he can see it is safe. This one-size-fits-all approach may not be right for your family.

• Reassure your child. When nightmares of night terrors happen, use a soothing voice. If you can, hold your child, communicating that he or she is safe.

• Talk about it and reassure your child. Afterwards, discuss the event with your child and try to understand what fears or concerns are causing the sleep problems.

• Read about children who overcome their fears. Don’t do this every storytime; that would be overwhelming (and boring)! But a few well-placed, occasional books—or one book that the child becomes attached to while working out his own fears—could be helpful. My children have loved Rick Walton’s A Very Hairy Scary Story. Maurice Sendak’s Where the Wild Things Are can also be a good choice; children love that small Max can tame the wild things. (Introducing the books during daytime reading can be a good idea.)

Parents, have faith. Nightmares and night terrors, while exhausting and frightening, are typically just a phase. If you have concerns, please talk to your health care provider. Chances are, before you know it, these sleep disturbances will be no more than a distant memory.