As you may have gathered if you’ve seen my other posts on baby gooroo, I am an ardent supporter of breastfeeding mothers and babies. I am a strong advocate for breastfeeding. I cheer inwardly any time I see another mother breastfeed in public. So, it may surprise you to learn that when it came to my activities, I was initially more the “breastfeeding in hiding” than the “breastfeeding in public” type.

Yup, that’s right. My first child was exclusively breastfed, but if I was out in public that meant he breastfed in changing rooms, in cars, even (I hate to say it) in restrooms. On the few occasions none of those things were available, (I hate to admit it) he breastfed under a light blanket. When we were in the company of family or friends—in our house or theirs—I would excuse myself (and the baby) to feed him.

I didn’t like this, because I feel like breastfeeding must be seen if it is to be accepted as being normal. As time passed, I slowly worked on becoming more comfortable with breastfeeding in public.

The tipping point for me came after the birth of my second child. When we were out and the baby became hungry, the idea of pulling my preschooler into “hiding” seemed utterly ridiculous. I knew the time had come to deal with the issue head-on.

I’ve been a “breastfeeding in public” type ever since.

Recently, a new mother posted to FirstRight’s yahoo group with many of the same concerns I had felt. She didn’t want to sacrifice her “modesty” in order to breastfeed in public; she hated feeling as though she needed to hide. She wanted tips.

Many have written about this topic before. I encourage new and expectant mothers to check out StorkNet, Motherwear, or pediatrician Jay Gordon’s site for other perspectives. In the meantime, here’s my brief “how-to” for anyone who feels like I once did.

How to breastfeed in public
It’s no coincidence that breastfeeding in public is almost always referred to as “nursing in public.” “Breast” and “public”—together? While we may applaud the mothers who don’t feel inhibited or worry about exposing skin while breastfeeding, many of us may not want to expose ourselves (postpartum wrinkles, flabby skin and all). The good news is: We don’t have to

Step-by-step, here’s what you can do:

• Wear shirts that are a little loose. Avoid those that are tight-fitting or clingy. Motherwear makes a variety of apparel with special breastfeeding slits, and you may want to explore this option. But a shirt that can be lifted from the bottom and which is loose enough that a little fabric can hang down along the breast will work. (Some mothers opt for products such as Hooter Hiders, the subject of a prior post by Miriam on baby gooroo; I think they add an unnecessary step to what can be a straightforward practice.

• Reach through the fabric of your shirt or slip your fingers into the neckline to unhook the nursing bra. Then, with the shirt still down, reach underneath to move the bra panel down.

• Position the baby. Bring the baby onto your lap and position him to breastfeed, keeping the lower edge of the shirt between us so that you can still reach it. Since people cannot see through the baby’s head or body, this provides good coverage.

• Latch the baby. Reach down and slip the edge of your shirt up just as high as you need to while pulling your baby closer. If you want, you can let the fabric rest along or just above his mouth. I suggest that you avoid covering his eyes and nose, since eye contact can be one of the nicest aspects of breastfeeding your baby—and can help you gauge when he is becoming sated.

• Occupy playful hands. If your baby has reached the grabby or playful age and wants to fuss with your shirt, you can use your free hand to hold the edge of your shirt where you want it or to gently keep baby’s hand occupied.

• Use baby for cover. When you feel the baby slow down, you can get ready to pull your shirt down right before or at the same time as you draw your baby away from you. Again, baby’s head and body can help conceal what’s happening on “your” side.

• Ask a friend. Some experts say practice in front of a mirror, and this may work for you. But if you are really, really concerned about issues of modesty, maybe you could try it out in front of a partner, friend, or relative. (Better yet, you could take in a La Leche League meeting!)

As I write this post, I am hearing a voice in my head. It’s not the soft voice of my supportive husband or the strong voice of my fellow breastfeeding mothers. It is not even the loud voice of a scolding bystander. No—rather unexpectedly—it is the lilting, upbeat voice of the always-terrific Bobby McFerrin. His popular lyrics seem particularly appropriate for a tense new mother: Don’t worry. Be happy. I would only add: Feed your baby. Enjoy your baby. Be true to yourself.