After 18 Children, Breastfeeding For Michelle Duggar Continues To Be A Learning Experience
When Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar welcomed their 18th child last December, I idly wondered whether Michelle might be breastfeeding. Then I wondered: has she breastfed her other children? What about all of them? And then I realized: wow, that’d be nearly two decades of breastfeeding!
Chances are that you know about the Duggars already, at least if you’ve seen their show on The Learning Channel, “18 Kids and Counting.” The show follows the adventures of Michelle, Jim Bob and their children—Joshua, 20 (who is also a newlywed), twins Jana and John-David, 19, Jill, 17, Jessa, 16, Jinger, 15, Joseph, 14, Josiah, 12, Joy-Anna, 11, twins Jeremiah and Jedidiah, 10, Jason, 8, James, 7, Justin, 6, Jackson, 4, Johannah Faith, 3, Jennifer, 1, and Jordyn-Grace Makiya, born Dec. 18.
Michelle, 42, and Jim Bob, 43, are remarkably laid-back as they lead their well-mannered brood through daily life (and prayer—the family are devout evangelical Christians). On the show, Michelle’s voice is nearly hypnotically soft and sweet, and it’s that way on the phone, too. I was so pleased when I learned that Michelle would be happy to talk about her breastfeeding experiences. As I chatted to my friends before the interview, we theorized that at this point, after all of those years of practice, surely breastfeeding for Michelle was smooth sailing. It turned out that while she has indeed breastfed all of her children, we were quite wrong—but that Michelle has an ample supply of determination when it comes to breastfeeding. Not only that, she was very candid in discussing the many difficulties she faced.
(A word of caution for moms-to-be, please note: it’s quite rare for someone to have so many breastfeeding issues at once; more on that a bit later.)
“I’ve always had struggles along the way and have managed to work through my struggles and continue to breastfeed,” Michelle said in a recent phone interview from her home in Tontitown, Arkansas.
She knew she wanted to breastfeed her first son, Josh, because she had learned about both the health benefits of breastfeeding as well as the bonding it allows. But she wasn’t prepared for the pain she felt when she tried. Fortunately, she found relief with the support of her local chapter of La Leche League.
“I think initially I connected with the La Leche League because they have great resources for nursing moms,” she said. “They helped me tremendously with my first baby, Josh.
“I had excruciating pain and I was dealing with probably just learning how the baby had to latch on,” she continued. “Later I found out that I had either flat nipples, or one might be inverted. I probably had greater challenges (than most mothers).”
She’s worn breast shields, she has spent weeks “toughening” her nipples, and she’s battled what she calls “very dry skin.” While lanolin reportedly saves her nipples from discomfort, it also gives her another hurdle: a moist environment ripe for growing Candida (yeast).
(Another note for readers: strategies for toughening nipples like pulling, stretching or tugging often do more harm than good—be sure to speak with an internationally board certified lactation consultant before undertaking any of these methods.)
“When you’re nursing, you definitely do not want that,” she said.
At the first sign of yeast, she reaches for a natural remedy, gentian violet (although she also uses Nystatin ointment). Gentian violet is famously vivid and stains “The baby’s mouth and the mother’s breasts purple—you have to be careful!” she laughed.
(Readers: if you ever use Gentian violet, be sure to use it sparingly, applying a 1 percent aqueous solution once a day, no more than three days, and discuss it with your child’s doctor—too much can irritate your baby’s mouth. For more information see Breastfeeding, A Parent’s Guide.)
Duggar has also struggled with the amount of time she’s been able to breastfeed each child. Her first set of twins were born via emergency C-section (Duggar has had 3 Cesarean births; the rest were all-natural vaginal births, 13 of them VBACs,) and she was able to breastfeed them for two weeks. “But I ended up getting mastitis (a breast infection),” she recalled. “The overall responsibility of having twins and having a toddler—I was so sick and I just didn’t continue breastfeeding after I got mastitis.”
Those early days, before she gathered the tools and knowledge to manage her breastfeeding issues, were especially tough. Michelle says that Jim Bob was always supportive of her decision to breastfeed, but it was hard for him to see her in such pain, even when she was so determined to make it work.
“Initially when I really had challenges with breastfeeding, I remember crying, tears streaming down my face and trying to breastfeed the baby and Jim Bob was saying, ‘Honey, it’s OK, you don’t have to do this,’” she said with a little laugh. “I’d say, ‘You don’t understand, I have to!’”
Despite her many obstacles, she wanted to keep breastfeeding, and so she did. Her children have all nursed for varying amounts of time, but her supply drastically decreases whenever she becomes pregnant, which has obviously been quite often.
“The longest I’ve been able to breastfeed is 9 months, and I’m thrilled about that,” she said. “I’m designed in such a way that I start my cycle 6 weeks after the baby is born—and that’s with no paci, no water, just breastfeeding—to the T!” she said, referring to the fact that exclusive breastfeeding—and in particular, a practice called lactational amenorrhea method (LAM)—can be a form of natural birth control if certain conditions are in place.
It’s like clockwork, she says: though she’s likely not ovulating with the first menstrual cycle that returns, her cycles are regular from that moment on. “At 8 months (after the previous baby was born), I usually conceive, and when I do get pregnant, then my milk seems to dry up. So by 9 months, my baby is fussing when I’m nursing…that’s when I have to supplement.”
Michelle says that, given her own struggles and triumphs, she feels for other women with breastfeeding problems.
“I deal with a lot of pain and issues,” she says. “It’s not this wonderful, pleasant, relaxing experience that makes me want to fall asleep. It’s more of an endurance thing…There’s a lot of pain for some women and honestly, getting past that is hard, especially when they’re little and breastfeeding every 2 to 3 hours. It is a real challenge for some women.”
If you are planning to breastfeed for the first time and are reading this article, you might be wincing at this point. You might even be thinking, “Breastfeeding is for the birds! Birds who like pain!” Don’t fret. Some things to keep in mind:
- Truly inverted nipples are rare.
- If your nipples are flat or inverted, you can use a breast pump to gently pull them out before nursing.
- Some women with flat or inverted nipples report pain at the start of a feeding, but in most cases, the pain only lasts a few seconds and goes away after a few days or weeks.
- If you do develop mastitis, keep breastfeeding—stopping suddenly might exacerbate the condition. (We’ve covered breastfeeding while treating mastitis here.)
Even if you do encounter difficulties, you can take heart in the fact that despite every trial, Duggar whole-heartedly endorses breastfeeding—after all, she wouldn’t keep at it for so long if she didn’t think it was worth it. For her, she says, the bonding she experiences through breastfeeding far outweighs the physical issues she often faces.
“I honestly can say I don’t have a warm, fuzzy feeling about nursing itself, the physical aspect of it,” she admitted. “I know some women really enjoy curling up and nursing. But I love the bonding process I have with my baby. It is so precious.”
Michelle shared a few tools and tips that she’s found helpful:
- A breastfeeding pillow. Her favorite is the “My Brest Friend,” a model that wraps around your body like a platform, allowing you to walk around while nursing. Since all of her children are home-schooled, “Life doesn’t stop because I’m feeding the baby,” she says. “I am now mobile when I breastfeed if I need to be. Nine times out of 10, with my schedule, it’s more convenient for me to walk around.” (In fact, she was using it during our interview: “Right now I’ve got my pillow wrapped around me,” she said. “It’s the greatest tool. It ranks right up there with lanolin for me.”)
- Using different nursing positions other than the standard cradle position. She prefers the football hold.
- Constant access to drinking water and lanolin.
- Educational books, especially La Leche League’s “The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.”
- A breast pump. During painful periods, a pump allowed Duggar to continue to produce milk and extend breastfeeding.
- A support system, like La Leche League or a similar breastfeeding group. She recommended connecting with such a group before the baby is born so that you can feel prepared and know a little of what to expect.
Does she have any other advice for expectant or new mothers when it comes to breastfeeding?
“You can do it,” she said. “There may be hurdles and obstacles you’ll face. Don’t give up! Keep trying.”
“18 Kids and Counting” airs Tuesdays at 9 PM (eastern/pacific time) on The Learning Channel (tlc.com)
I love this – it’s such an honest portrayal of breastfeeding. Just out of curiosity, where would you find Gentian Violet? Is it easy to source, or best left to ordering online?
Gentian violet can usually be found at compounding pharmacies located in or near birthing hospitals. While gentian violet has a long history of effectiveness, it needs to be used correctly. While it may be available without a prescription, you might want to talk with an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) before you initiate use. Together you can decide if gentian violet is the best treatment for you and your baby.
Um, now I feel bad about contemplating NOT having a second baby. One is overwhelming to me, much less, 18. How does one transport that many children? Not simultaneously, I assume.
Very interesting article about a woman’s struggle and perseverance to breastfeed.
I am a huge fan of Michelle Duggar, and especially now that I have a 10 week old infant. When I’m struggling with nursing her at 3 am, I often think, “what would Michelle do?”! It’s good to read about her struggles, and the tools she’s used to get through them too. I’m always pausing my TiVo to see how she walks around and nurses at the same time- now I know it’s because of the My Breast Friend pillow, which I will go buy. I would love to be able to walk around and get things done instead of being stuck on the sofa for endless hours each day! The M.B.F. website does state however that you should not stand up while using their pillow and nursing. I guess Michelle has that balance down perfectly so baby won’t slide off.
Thanks so much for this article!!
She says breastfeeding is such a bonding experience yet she also states she is able to walk around and do other things/chores while using the pillow. How can it be a bonding experience if your attention is off the baby and on other things?
Dear Pam,
Thanks for your comment. I can only speak as myself, but as a nursing mother, I can assure you that the bond is there, and very strong, and sort of transcends the minutia of daily life happening around you during the act itself. I sometimes feel as though I have an “other self” that is taking care of business while nursing, but my whole attention is, without a doubt, centered on my child. (Wow, far out.)
Of course, now that my son is a toddler and I nurse in the morning and at night, I’m too zonked out to do anything else at the same time and wouldn’t event try!
Wow, kudos to her for her perseverance! What stands out more than anything to me is Michelle had THIRTEEN VBACS! WOW!
I have breast feed all three of my children, and yes walking around while they are nursing is bonding for them and mom. I carried my last baby in a sling so she could be close to me and nurse when she wanted too. Better than propping a bottle to get things done.
What a great article! Thank you so much for conducting this telephone interview with Michelle and asking the questions I have been so curious about! I am a young mom and a Breastfeeding Peer Counselor for WIC in Texas, and what a great example to give to my moms who think “breastfeeding is so hard” and “not worth it” after a few days or even when the baby is still in utero! If Michelle Duggar, with 18 soon to be 19 children can power through painful struggles and still promote breastfeeding as a sweet, “bonding” time even after the numerous struggles she’s faced, anybody can! I also love the quote about making it to 9 months exclusively breastfeeding and then starting to supplement. Way to go, Michelle!
I have been extremely blessed to only have temporary and marginal issues breastfeeding my first baby, and of course I will always support and promote breastfeeding. But how wonderful to hear an opinion supportive of breastfeeding from someone who has gone through multiple and painful struggles with nursing!
“What would Michelle do” LOL. Too funny, and so true!
Thank you for this! I LOVE the Duggars, and it’s so pleasing to see all these rumors about forced weaning in order to get pregnant put to rest. I think she’s a inspiration to breastfeeding women. For such a modest person to come out and talk so bluntly about her experiences, and triumphs is wonderful.
Again, many thanks for this!
Breastfeeding is WONDERFUL. I fed both of my children. My son for 9 months and my daughter for 18 months. It certainly brings a mother and her child close. I honestly believe that God put breasts on women for that purpose. I loved not having to get up in the middle of the night and go warm a bottle up. It is always the right temperature and the best for yur babies. I too would modestly walk around in my home or Walmart and feed my children. I don’t think most people ever even knew what I was doing. Michelle thank you for your open example of breastfeeding.
It is the best way.
As soon as I saw that Michelle Duggar breastfed I had a million questions for her. I am very happy I found this article. I am struggling with one thing right now, and I hope someone has advice for me on it. My baby is 14 weeks old I had one period three weeks after my baby was born and now nothing. I have had two negative home pregnancy tests. I want another baby and had thought I would get pregnant again right away. I recently read that breastfeeding can delay the return of the menstral cycle, I heard as long as 12 months. I am beside myself. I don’t want to stop breastfeeding but I do want to have another baby. Is there any hope my cycle will return? Should I consider supplementing my baby? Does anyone have any advice?
Exclusive breastfeeding is one of the most effective strategies for spacing children. When breastfeeding is used to achieve a safe interval between births, it is referred to as LAM, the lactational amenorrhea method. It is only effective for the first six months after birth (the period of exclusive breastfeeding) and like all methods of child spacing it requires a level of compliance. For LAM to be effective, babies must be less than 6 months of age, exclusively breastfed (no juice, cereal, water etc. or pacifiers), and sleeping no longer than 4-6 hours at a time. In addition, mothers must not have resumed menstruation (monthly periods).
The menstrual cycle you experienced three weeks after your baby was born may not have been an actual cycle but simply a result of your uterus returning to its non-pregnant state, since you have had no evidence of bleeding since then.
I understand your desire to get pregnant, but the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding for you and your baby should be your first priority. Delaying a subsequent pregnancy will allow your body to heal and will minimize the risks associated with pregnancies spaced one right after another.
Once you introduce solid foods, for most babies this occurs around six months, your menstrual cycle will likely return. Some mothers ovulate (release an egg) and become pregnant right away, so you could become pregnant and not experience a return of your menstrual cycle.
Until then, enjoy your time together. Babies are little such a short time.
Thank you for this honest portrayal of BF, and from the Mother of 18. It’s fantastic to hear that we aren’t truly alone.
To Jennifer who wants to have a second baby: I understand the desire to have a second child so soon after having the first. I had it too. But it’s better for your health to let your body recover from pregnancy by waiting until your cylces come back naturally.
Also, I had no clue how much work it is to have two children until I had them both. Mine are 3 years apart. I know several people who have two children who are 12-18 months apart. They have said that it was really hard having two young children that close in age. Both kids still really need you. When they are spaced more, it is easier. It’s just something to consider.
Finally, I wouldn’t supplement. If your child is growing well and getting the nourishment he/she needs, why add formula that is expensive and could be tainted with toxins. I wouldn’t chance it. Mother’s milk is perfectly made for baby by nature. No formula can compare.
Good luck.
Thank you so much for the article. I have been looking everywhere for the pillow that I have seen Michelle use on the show to breastfeed while standing and walking around. I am going to buy this pillow right away! I have been breastfeeding for 6 months now and don’t have any plans to stop anytime soon. I also have had many problems along the way. I had inverted nipples and had to use a nipple shield for over a month before my daughter would latch on without it. Then was hospitalized with a case of mastitis and continued to pump throughout the 2 days I spent at the hospital. When I returned home i continued to breastfeed although it was very difficult. Then I actually got mastitis again in the same breast. However although at first it was extremely painful (the skin actually was coming off) Lanolin did help and I just continued to breastfeed and now me and my daughter are both happy!
I am so pleased someone FINALLY interviewed Michelle on this topic. Several of my friends are convinced that she weans her children prematurely so that she can get pregnant again and insist that she’s admitted that somewhere but I’ve searched high and low and I’m sure this is her first interview on breastfeeding. I’ve always felt that the Duggars were unfairly criticized and it’s heartening to know that Michelle not only allows her children to nurse as long as they are able, but that she’s persevered through so many breastfeeding difficulties.
I definitely recommend breastfeeding. I nursed all 6 of mine, from 10 months to 18 months. I did not supplement with anything else. It seemed to me that my cycles started whenever the baby started sleeping more than 4-5 hours at night, regardless of their age or weight. It seemed that when you are first nursing (which is ‘on demand’ and could be as much as every 2 hrs), that your body is ‘in sync’ with the newborn’s cycle of sleeping and feeding.
I would also add that the earliest I became pg again was when the baby was 7 months old, and the latest was when the baby was 14 months old. Also that I was a very thin woman, not busty at all, and my babies were 8 lb 8 oz. to 9 lb 8 oz. The most trouble I ever had was when I had a breast infection (with my first, I probably was trying to feed ‘on schedule’ not ‘on demand’) and the Dr’s advice was to stop…luckily I had La Leche to call as that was the WORST advice. There is no way the baby was ‘infected’ (if so, the germ would be there before it became apparent to the nursing mother), and only the baby’s nursing helped clear the breast ducts. I had no luck pumping, but as I was a stay-at-home mom, it really didn’t matter. My advice: forget the house, get rest, drink fluids, and enjoy this ALL TOO SHORT time with your baby!
ps-Also breastfeeding is so easy, besides it is FREE (if you need an additional incentive). We camped and it was the ONLY way we could do so with a newborn. Consider this: if cavewomen could do it, WHY not you? Don’t overthink it. The human race would most certainly have become extinct if nursing was so difficult.
BJEAN…I had the same problem and my DR told me the same thing. I knew he was nuts and luckily I didn’t follow his advice. Most of the time you have to use your gut instinct.
I love the Duggar family, thank you for this article. I am pregnant with my fourth child and I truly look forward to nursing. I only nursed my third child, I wasn’t interested with my first two. I had minor problems in the beginning but I was so determined to make it work that the problems didn’t bother me. I perservered and I am so glad I did. I nursed her for 18 months and the only reason I stopped is because I had to take a medication that was not good for her.
We discovered the Duggars at 17 kids and have been fans ever since. We TIVO the series.
I appreciate Michelle’s honesty , especially on something so intimate as breastfeeding.
The bonding with your baby is wonderful, but not always comfortable!!
It is good to hear what Michelle has to say about children and life in general.